OneGreenChip

I don't usually post chat logs. Nor do I talk about the sense of humor that my brother and I both share. Drawn from odd, shared experiences, and more than a little twisted, both of us are used to people looking at us with an eyebrow cocked, and a 'wtf is WRONG with you' on their face.

So I can rarely, if ever, be all: OMG WE WERE TALKING IT WAS SOOOO FUNNY; because most people look at me the same way as when I crack about mandatory sterilization of trailer parks, the ethics of being a hitman, or how big a douchebag a pizza-delivery guy must be before you are 'allowed' to boot him in the nuts. Personally, I'm not happy until the subject is on the cusp between LOL and 'Im not sure Im comfortable taking it this far'.

This is not one of those times. Enjoy the chat log, which references the Epic Sound of Failure, which everybody should know.

Mark: omfg
i would do catherine bell
so hard
Catherine Bell Looking Sexier than Diamond Covered Steaks
hawtttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt"
12:06 AM tits = real
real, and therefore, unreal.
WIN
me: AAAA IT'S CHER
Mark: ew no
me: cher has been drinking the blood of virgins
Mark: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DONT RUIN IT FOR ME
fights to maintain
12:07 AM me: I SEE BUTT TATTOOS
DEF CHER
(don't go limp damn you!! ignore!! maintain!!)
Mark: inserts "going limp" sound effect
12:08 AM i think that would be a slide whistle.
me: /price of right sound effect
Mark: price is right?
me: Price Is Right Losing Horn
LOL
12:09 AM bwaaaaaaaaaaa
Mark: lmao

I can't watch this video without eldritch legends of Creation welling up in my brain -- seeing entropy reverse and watching form come from Chaos is really blowing my mind.



Maybe I just need breakfast.

title: Hot Chicks with Douchebags.com

Some funny shit there. One of my life's goals is to make it to this page and be hated on by internet basement-dwellers. My currently favorite piece of prose is in response to the horror below.



"I'm building an ark and these two poopheads will be the first ones on. I was down at the 7/11 picking up my daily supply of beef jerky and a 12-pack of extra large condoms when God grabbed me by my popped collar and said "Listen you greasy choad, I love you because I'm God, but that doesn't mean I'm happy about it. I'd love you alot more if you built an ark and on that ark you filled it with the slimiest douchebags and their bleethy hangers-on-- emo 'bags and Euro 'bags, old farty 'bags and 'bags with orange tans. And when you've filled the ark with this menagerie of human swill I want you to take them out to the middle of the Black Sea, douse the ship with Tag Body Spray and set that mofo on fire." These two deserve to be the first pair on the good ship Douchey Slop."

lololol

I made a shitload of fudge sunday night. 4.5 lbs. 1.5 each of peanut butter, choc/walnut, and butterscotch fudge.

It's like a sweet, tasty, brick of flavored fat. Kick ass. Also perfect for a brief sugar rush during 1000 hand sessions. This could be problematic!

I posted my best-polished rant on 2p2, in the BBV section. Within 4 posts, they had googled it, found my blog, and were heckling my ass for

a) 'stealing' the rant
b) being a pussy
c) etc

I <3 2p2's beats, brags, and variance forum. Not for the poker part, but the pure frickin hilarity of people heckling each other to hell and back. Screw all that warm fuzzy shit!!

Since I last posted: 2804 hands : 8.10 bb/100 : just over 2 BIs

My graph is swongy as fuck. I tried 6-tabling as an exercise, and got slammed over a 400 hand stretch with ups and downs. Best to stick with 4, I suppose.

UGLY STUFF

This villain is a bit looser (37/16/1.33), but opening this strong UTG narrows everybody's range. This hand is proof that I, OneGreenChip, have no balls. While my flop line is a little suspect, I get lucky and nobody else comes along. Effective stacks are 200bb, I cover, and so my flop and turn lines are great. MY RIVER PLAY IS ATROCIOUS. I saw the third diamond, got a check-call, and got scared.

Opinions on missed value?

In my last post, I rambled about not stacking off in an unraised pot. Yet I almost do it here. Villain has one of the few hands I beat. For 100BB stacks, when my c/r is minraised, and I have middle pair and a gutshot, I gots to fold, sonnnnn.

This nit had 3bet me 4 times in the last 10 hands. I was fed up. Thank u jesus.

Maybe I could have stacked this guy. I put him on a steal, as he'd lost some big pots lately with suckouts and was starting to loosen up from his standard 40/1/0.3 game.

I messed up here and don't know how. the card I want comes in on the turn, and then I get scared of a bigger flush and flatcall the river. I KNOW i could have had more value here, but reasoning doesn't support it. I'M WEAK.

THE GREAT

Lately I haven't been getting a lot of value from the river, as 95% of my river bets have been value bets. This session I made sure to put in some bets on the for value, and some for bluffs. It ended up confusing a number of the regs I played with. This TAG (18/12/3.0) and I have over 10k hands of history, so when I float his c/r and bet the river, he's got to put me on a hand. Player dependent, but... I like it.

I should just lead out, but it takes a real donk to stack off w/ TT here.

Another reg. Not sure that I like my play OOP, but it's easy to put this particular player on a hand, and I get paid off.

THE AWFUL

230 BB pot!! I make the PF call from the SB -- speculative, but not too bad. My hand is easy to ditch. The flop is just what I'm looking for, but really draw-heavy. The plan is to check raise the PF raiser, who's loose and aggressive. I'm happy getting all in with him.

But the loose-passive on my right raises before I can get there. Raise (and commit to the pot?) or fold? I think a shove is OK if I had flopped the straight. Two pair just cannot be good against these opponents, but I marry my crappy two pair. I LOVE YOU!!! WAIT! YOU SUCK! BITCH WHY ARE YOU FAT AND HORRIBLE I CAN'T BELIEVE I PICKED YOU ARRGHHHHHH

All Day

was sure I could fold out any non-K hand with a shove.

This river shove didn't work out, but I don't agree with his call at all. Made a note on the guy and stacked him later.

I guess that's enough for now. This blog is turning into a notepad of hands. I'll have to do more expounding on the game itself, and what I'm noticing from 25nl at AP. Maybe it's time to move again? Bonus-whore? With the winrate I'm sustaining now (34K hands @ 13.31 bb/100), I can't see moving. It's too bad that I finally got 4-tabling down well and now don't have any bonuses to take advantage of.

Maybe I should redeposit and start a new name. Screw this ironeagle guy, right? :D

Seriously. Feels like the last 30 times I've had AA/KK, I get a walk. Today was the flip side of that. I'll just POAST, as I'm hongray and want mah brakefaist.

$0.1/$0.25 No Limit Holdem
6 players
Converted at weaktight.com


Stacks:

UTG	RAIN_KING_10	($38.20)
UTG+1	Hero	($60.80)
CO	MOBILJAN	($8.94)
BTN	ROB1954	($38.82)
SB	2GOOD2B_TRU	($12.32)
BB	ABSOLUTEFW	($7.25)

Pre-flop: ($0.35, 6 players) Hero is UTG+1

1 fold, Hero raises to $1, 1 fold, ROB1954 calls $1, 1 fold, ABSOLUTEFW calls $0.75

Flop: ($3.10, 3 players)
ABSOLUTEFW bets $3.10, Hero calls $3.10, ROB1954 raises to $7.45, ABSOLUTEFW goes all-in $3.15, Hero goes all-in $59.80, ROB1954 goes all-in $30.37

Turn: ($110.07, 3 players)

River: ($110.07, 3 players)
ROB1954 shows:
ABSOLUTEFW shows:
Hero shows:

Hero wins $103.97 ( won +$40.07 )
ROB1954 lost -$38.82
ABSOLUTEFW lost -$7.25


What do I think about my flop play? I don't mind my call of ABSOLUTEFW's lead-out, as I'm way ahead of ROB's range. After the minraise and shove, it's a $4.35 call for a ~$25 to me, and Rob has $30 left. Do I want a smaller raise here? KK-TT is probably getting it in regardless. I got carried away because this second hand was going on at the same time.

I love my 3bet size PF. I also like my flop check, letting others take a shot, as only a PSB remains. Weeee


$0.1/$0.25 No Limit Holdem
6 players
Converted at weaktight.com


Stacks:

UTG	RAIN_KING_10	($47.65)
UTG+1	PBSSB1	($10.00)
CO	ALLINKING5	($17.47)
BTN	STOKESY1966	($46.51)
SB	Hero	($24.50)
BB	RYEKABE111	($29.00)

[PBSSB1 posted $0.25]
Pre-flop: ($0.60, 6 players) Hero is SB

RAIN_KING_10 raises to $1, PBSSB1 calls $0.75, 1 fold, STOKESY1966 calls $1, Hero raises to $5, RYEKABE111 calls $4.75, RAIN_KING_10 calls $4, PBSSB1 folds, STOKESY1966 calls $4

Flop: ($21.25, 4 players)
Hero checks, RYEKABE111 checks, RAIN_KING_10 checks, STOKESY1966 bets $21, Hero goes all-in $19.50, RYEKABE111 folds, RAIN_KING_10 folds

Turn: ($61.75, 2 players)

River: ($61.75, 2 players)

Final Pot: $60
STOKESY1966 shows:
Hero shows:

STOKESY1966 wins $1.50 ( lost -$24.50 )
Hero wins $57 ( won +$32.50 )
RYEKABE111 lost -$5.00
RAIN_KING_10 lost -$5.00
PBSSB1 lost -$1.00


for perspective
Biggest pot lost yesterday. 5 BI = not bad

Today, I played past my fatigue limits. Graph looks like a horseshoe. Damn.

Stacking off in a unraised pot is not acceptable. Third best hand.

Don't know if I can lay this down. I lead two streets, and then he beats me into the pot? Kinda expected to be shown a boat here.

Turn card is awful. We can't shut down here for stack sizes.

Die. You too.

I think this might be a bad fold. Villain said he had JJ. He's 43/4/2.5 over 4k hands, so his minraise screamed big pocket pair to me. Takes stupid lines and bluffs postflop, but since his pf range is so damn wide i have to respect him for random 2pairs and the like.

EDIT:
OK, the harsh light of day helps a lot here. Even if I given him a range of [AQs+, 99+], I still am ahead of most of his range. BUT, this guy takes weird lines, like I said, and gets paid off when people with TP-type hands run into his CONNECTED SHIT. Anyway, in retrospect I hate my 3bet from the blinds, especially now that I'm verbally addressing his range.

But (most importantly), I played it like AK. My line looks weaker than my hand, so not calling is even more of an error than I thought.

was at a table with three of these guys (30/3, 40/5, 43/4) and they were just floating me into oblivion when I couldn't hit the flop. I can deal with weak/tight players, but these loose/stations got me good this session. suppose it's just variance, and them hitting flops.

basically, once my image went to shit they got all brave and floaty, and then I couldn't connect. in the future, i'll have to just flee from these tables when my image is in tatters and i can't scrounge up any fold equity. don't have a better solution right now.

yay

i don't respect you PokerStove gives me a a half percent edge!! SHOVEZZ

down half a buying over 3 days, 2600 hands. poor play.

I like how this hand turned out. lol. I think I played it ok, too. Villain is 32/4/3.67. Seems like a real donkey -- gets TPWK and overvalues it to the river.

Flop play is meh, as board doesn't get much scarier. Personally, I raise bigger w/ two pair / set / straight / flushdraw (only IP). So his donkraise doesn't look strong to me.

Great turn card. I pulled ahead of [AA, AK, AT, KQ, KT, QQ]. Still trail [AQ, KK, TT, KJ/JT(unlikely), and made flushes.]

With such a great turn card on this board, I think that this donkey is going to pay me off with all the hands I just pulled ahead of. +EV!



$0.1/$0.25 No Limit Holdem
3 players
Converted at weaktight.com


Stacks:

BTN	Hero	($35.94)
SB	SLOPEZ2005	($25.29)
BB	BIGPAPA6	($17.16)

Pre-flop: ($0.35, 3 players) Hero is BTN

Hero raises to $1, SLOPEZ2005 calls $0.90, 1 fold

Flop: ($2.25, 2 players)
SLOPEZ2005 checks, Hero bets $1.50, SLOPEZ2005 raises to $3, Hero calls $1.50

Turn: ($8.25, 2 players)
SLOPEZ2005 bets $8.25, Hero goes all-in $31.94, SLOPEZ2005 goes all-in $13.04

River: ($61.48, 2 players)

Final Pot: $50.83
Hero shows:
SLOPEZ2005 shows:

Hero wins $59.48 ( won +$23.54 )
SLOPEZ2005 lost -$25.29

Originally:

HP Pavilion ZV5410us lappy.
15.4" lcd screen, xtrabrite bitches.
shitty ass touchpad
Athlon x64 chip
80gb of space
1.25 mb RAM

:(

Then I got my 24" Soyo screen (balla). Was outputting the laptop to that. Made for some supreme neck pain.

NOW

HP Pavilion Elite m9077c Desktop
Core 2 Quad Q6600
TV tuner card
3 GB DDR2
400 GB SATA
16X DVD(+/-)R/RW 12X RAM (+/-)R
DL LightScribe SATA drive
Wireless LAN 802.11 b/g
15-in-1 Memory Reader
Vista Home Premium Windows Media
Pimped out w/ a Logitech mouse.
factory recertified <---- key

$800. most of the Quad Cores are going for $2k new. awwww yeah. Upgraded with pirated Vista OS (thanks piratebay!), poker software, etc.

I can run 12 tables with this monitor real-estate.

no more lagging DB. Compressions / icon updates / defrags are matters of seconds, minutes at most.

No more tilt due to crappy tools.

shout out to www.dealnews.com for the hot link. BALLA

Last poker content posted: 4/25/08

Stuff has gone way wrong since then.

1) job stuff. standard.
2) ended 25nl Poker Heater with 50nl Poker cooler. >CLICKY<
3) cashed out half of bankroll to deal with RL stuff
4) stopped watching poker videos, WTF?
5) STOPPED POSTING.

Some stuff has gone right.

1) have run OK at 25nl since...Monday
2) stayed healthy - gym every day, eating right every day
3) spent <$20/week socializing
4) developing great contacts
5) offered two jobs already, turned both down
6) have flopped quads 9 times, winning nearly 10 BIs, wtf??

So destroying donkeys has been less and less of a priority for me, and more something to do in my spare time when I can't do any more calling/interview/searching. Which is good -- I don't think I play my best game when I'm mentally worried about the monies.


anyway, some of the fun hands that led me into destruction!!!

Obviously, some of it is just plain running badly, but some hands show suprising stupidity by yours truly. I guess that heater made me retarded, lol.

$0.25/$0.5 No Limit Holdem
6 players
Converted at weaktight.com


Stacks:

UTG	NJSEABASS	($45.31)
UTG+1	BRUSHB	($6.83)
CO	JAHBIRD	($15.97)
BTN	NAGARJUNA	($97.45)
SB	TOURISTTRAP1	($76.28)
BB	Hero	($56.35)

Pre-flop: ($0.75, 6 players) Hero is BB

NJSEABASS calls $0.50, 2 folds, NAGARJUNA calls $0.50, 1 fold, Hero checks

Flop: ($1.75, 3 players)
Hero checks, NJSEABASS checks, NAGARJUNA bets $1.20, Hero calls $1.20, NJSEABASS folds

Turn: ($4.15, 2 players)
Hero checks, NAGARJUNA bets $3, Hero raises to $9, NAGARJUNA raises to $28, Hero goes all-in $54.65, NAGARJUNA calls $26.65

River: ($122.45, 2 players)

Final Pot: $113.45
NAGARJUNA shows:
Hero shows:

NAGARJUNA wins $109.95 ( won +$53.60 )
Hero lost -$65.35
NJSEABASS lost -$0.50


in retrospect, checking the flop was stupid. checking the turn is ATROCIOUS OOP, as is 4betting here. how does he ever, ever, ever have less than a set, much less a straight?


$0.1/$0.25 No Limit Holdem
6 players
Converted at weaktight.com


Stacks:

UTG	PEONS_STRATA	($55.74)
UTG+1	Hero	($50.63)
CO	PAT1953	($50.83)
BTN	FBOARDER	($47.40)
SB	CUEMAN2	($29.99)
BB	MBOLZMAN	($17.18)

Pre-flop: ($0.35, 6 players) Hero is UTG+1

1 fold, Hero raises to $1, PAT1953 calls $1, 1 fold, CUEMAN2 calls $0.90, 1 fold

Flop: ($3.25, 3 players)
CUEMAN2 checks, Hero checks, PAT1953 bets $1, CUEMAN2 calls $1, Hero calls $1

Turn: ($6.25, 3 players)
CUEMAN2 checks, Hero bets $6.25, PAT1953 calls $6.25, CUEMAN2 folds

River: ($18.75, 2 players)
Hero bets $18.75, PAT1953 goes all-in $42.58, Hero goes all-in $23.63

Final Pot: $103.51
Hero shows:
PAT1953 shows:

PAT1953 wins $100.71 ( won +$49.88 )
CUEMAN2 lost -$2.00
Hero lost -$50.63


Here I got greedy, and checked the flop, hoping for action.

Wow, that's not a good turn card. Wow, that's a HORRIBLE river card. Please don't have QJ. &#*$


$0.1/$0.25 No Limit Holdem
6 players
Converted at weaktight.com


Stacks:

UTG	MUCHDABEST	($41.41)
UTG+1	FOLDEMAWAY	($87.59)
CO	PHIL196363	($46.07)
BTN	WILDSNIPER	($30.58)
SB	NASTYMRPIKE	($25.44)
BB	Hero	($42.04)

Pre-flop: ($0.35, 6 players) Hero is BB

1 fold, FOLDEMAWAY raises to $1.50, 1 fold, WILDSNIPER calls $1.50, 1 fold, Hero calls $1.25

Flop: ($4.60, 3 players)
Hero checks, FOLDEMAWAY bets $4.60, WILDSNIPER calls $4.60, Hero raises to $14.70, FOLDEMAWAY calls $10.10, WILDSNIPER folds

Turn: ($38.60, 2 players)
Hero checks, FOLDEMAWAY goes all-in $71.39, Hero goes all-in $25.84

River: ($135.83, 2 players)

Final Pot: $90.28
Hero shows:
FOLDEMAWAY shows:

FOLDEMAWAY wins $132.83 ( won +$45.24 )
WILDSNIPER lost -$6.10
Hero lost -$42.04


Here I see a large PF raise, hit the flop hard, and opt to checkraise against the opener and a caller. I'm scared when he calls, but am curious that he shoves to me. Marginal call at best. Nothing to do but make a note that he stacks off 200bb deep w/ TPTK. Sadly, I do so with LESS. BAD.



So yeah, I'm digging my way out of a pile of shit. I must have been blessed on my last heater, because the bad beats are piling up. Sadly, I am definitely affected by bad play / bad beats. I want to move up and reach my goals sooooo badly, and a few of the first-posted hands threw me into a spewy mindset.

Definitely let tilt get to me at 50nl. Expected better play by the opponents, saw some HORRIBLE players, then tried to run over everybody (respect my LAGGINESS) and got owned.

*sigh*

not that lots of great play didn't happen, I just don't feel like dwelling on it now. I'll be back to posting w/ mah sparkly new template. hope it doesn't burn your eyes.